Because there is nothing you can do to change the past. You
can learn from it, so don’t discount the importance of what was. But don’t wish
that things had been different—they aren't.
Decide whether you need to make better decisions in the
future or if what happened needed to. There is a lesson in what we perceive as
“failure”. Sometimes it leads to our greatest success.
I believe that making great change or even little ones and
setting new goals should happen as needed, not just at the turn of a new year.
But there is something magical and/or inspiring about deciding to strive for
something greater when the clock strikes midnight—beginning 2017.
Even though I don’t make New Year’s resolutions, I do love
this time of year. I love the idea of starting fresh and of an opportunity to
make the new year better than the last.
So for the last couple of years, I've taken the opportunity,
the time between Christmas and New Years, to take stalk of what was. And decide
what I want for the future.
2016 held its challenges. Some of that revolved around work
and the indecision of moving on or staying put. I had several opportunities to
move on and felt a sense of pressure to do so. True to my belief that change
and decision happens as needed, in October, after another opportunity came and
went, I made the decision to stick with my job and see it through this rough
patch. It came as a major relief to me. Sometimes indecision is the most
difficult part of any challenge we face.
A few relationships have troubled me as well and have for a
few years now. Many or most of our relationships go beyond our family, and
often affect us just as deeply and sometimes more often. I managed to put those
relationships in perspective, for the most part anyway. I allowed those
relationships to dominate my thoughts and emotions more than what was healthy
for me. It was nothing they personally set out to do, knew they were doing or
wanted to do. It was all me, my allowing the emotional impact. That is not an
easy thing for me to admit or to have allowed. I see myself as very strong-minded
person and this aspect was a big struggle for me.
I think of the saying; that God puts people in our lives for
a reason and sometimes just a season. That he also moves people out of our
lives when the time is right and we have to let go. I didn't want to let go
despite the emotional impact. I prayed and prayed to do so and never did the
answer seem to be from God to “let go”. But the hurt needed to go. The drain on
my emotions had to go. It took me a long time, a lot of prayer, and I won’t say
that I've come to completion with this, but I've come a long way. Both
friendships are still in tact and so are my emotions. I’m thankful “letting go”
wasn't the answer, for now anyway.
I've always been one to control my emotions and reactions.
This year, I had to re-learn that. Just because you feel it, doesn't mean you have
to say it or react to it to make it real or meaningful. Being vulnerable
is difficult and scary; and the very reason I always controlled my emotions or
at least my reactions to emotions to begin with.
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| My sister-in-law, Patty in purple and me in pink. |
In preparation for the New Year, I cleaned out the office
(aka as the junk room), in hopes of motivating myself to write the next best
seller. In the process, I found $200 dollars worth of gift cards, a charcoal
drawing I did when I was a teen, and the knowledge that my husband has a mild
magazine hoarding issue.
My two main goals for 2015: a rockin body and a NY Times
best seller. With God, all things are possible. So the closet is stocked with
workout clothes and the office set for writing. I’m ready to make 2015 better
than any other year before.
